FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
