A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
