One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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