Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
