i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
