If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
