So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize