I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
