these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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