Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
