The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
