It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
