You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
