Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
