Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
