I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
