You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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