There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
