He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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