i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
