Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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