what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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