when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize