What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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