Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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