I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize