Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
