grandma shit on top of the toilet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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