when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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