At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
