I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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