I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
