I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
