the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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