Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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