:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
