so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
