Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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