Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
