I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
