I don't think brook has ever known best
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
