Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize