We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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