The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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