i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
