So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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