Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
