take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
