The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
