Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
