Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
