let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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