seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
