whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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