how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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