I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize