So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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