Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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