So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
