have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
