This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
