I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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