its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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