So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
