'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
