actually, I'm a sock model
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
