dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
