We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
