Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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