She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
