got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
