smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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