But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
sex in a hospital.. check
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
