Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
