i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
