And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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